Happy Monday, Friends.
Many of you may not know that as well as a Blogger, I am also a trained Life Coach. I work mostly with women in their 40’s and 50’s on issues that keep us stuck in a rut. Who am I to lecture on these topics? Well, they are all ones that I have dealt with and have had help from my Coach to overcome.
Every now and then I am going to post a coaching “lesson” on a specific topic that is geared towards women.
Today, I want to talk about being your own BFF (Best friend forever -for those of you who don’t text-like me!) What do I mean by that?
Women are the chefs, chauffeurs, cleaning lady, Laundromat , Mom, career woman and wife; just to name some of the roles we do in a day! We work all week and on the weekends we either catch up on stuff we didn’t have time to do during the week or we are taking the kids to some activity. Many women I speak with don’t take a minute for themselves. We are taught at an early age that we should take care of everyone else’s needs first and then if there’s time ( which there never is) we can take care of us.
Women need to learn how to nurture themselves and make themselves a top priority. We need to show ourselves as much loving kindness as we show others.
I gave a Personal Values class recently to a group of Executive Women at work. I asked them to pick out and define their 5 top values. As the women were discussing some of the values they picked, I asked a question that stopped everyone in their tracks.
Did anyone pick yourself as a top 5 Value?
No one did. No one ever has in any of the workshops I have given on this topic. I always ask that question and ask why no one picked themselves as a value. Most times I hear ” I didn’t even think of me” or “it seems selfish” is another one I hear a lot.
We need to show ourselves love, compassion, gentleness and affection and protect them with the fierce protectiveness we would for our loved ones. I ask my clients and students what is important to them? What makes them happy or makes them feel fulfilled? Often times, they don’t know anymore. If they do know, many of them don’t engage in those activities and haven’t for a very long time.
Remember that feeling? You’re somewhere, maybe with friends or family or doing something you love to do (even alone) and you get this overwhelming feeling of ” I don’t want to be anywhere else right now. This is the perfect moment and I wish I could bottle it” .
How often do you feel that way anymore? If you felt that way more often do you think you’d be a better Mom or wife? Having worked with many women on this topic I can safely say you would. You would also be teaching your kids and helping your husband to enjoy that same experience and fulfilled feeling. When you feel it you want to share it.
I do take time for myself. I make myself a priority and do something I enjoy doing at least once a weekend. It doesn’t have to be for a long time or anything huge. I love reading a book in the sun by the pond. My dog, Molly, makes me really happy and I love doing things with her and Dan. I may only get to read a book for 20 minutes but I do it! I plan what I am going to do for myself every weekend. I also encourage Dan to do the same.
A few years back my Mom was sick, my Dad wasn’t well, work was super crazy, I had client who needed me and other family members who were relying on me as well. I felt over whelmed and I could feel I was getting anxious. I made even MORE of a point to make sure I took care of myself. People needed me, I couldn’t crumble now.
I want to challenge you to pick something this coming weekend that you will do for YOU. Not for your kids or your husband, but something that makes YOU happy. I know making them happy makes you happy… what made you happy BEFORE they came along? Something must have? I don’t care if you only spend 15 minutes doing it. Do it!
It could be:
Reading a girlie magazine (you, not him)
Walking your dog
Talking on the phone with a friend and laughing (no bitching allowed)
Taking a drive on a back road and singing to the radio
15 minutes is all I ask.
If you don’t know what your top Values are you can do my Personal Values exercise on my web-site.
A fun Blog I just came to find is Must have Boxes. You sign up for the themed box that you like and you get something every month. They had a pantie box that looked sassy and fun. These would make great gifts as there are many different themes and it is a unique idea. How fun to get a surprise every month? This could be your 15 minutes for yourself! check it out at http://musthaveboxes.com/author/admin/
I encourage you to pass this Blog along to any woman you know and have her take the 15 minute challenge. Compare notes and see what each other chooses to do for herself. Talk about it amongst your friends and spread the word!
Then I would love to hear from you and share your experiences. I would love to post some on a future Blog.
Please leave a comment on who you passed this challenge along to.