I am back from Newport for one night and I had a horrible night sleep! Too much on my mind. I don’t know how to shut it off.
Anyway, the subject of flirting came up while I was taking to someone and I thought it would be an interesting topic to touch on (haha). Even though I am married people can still flirt with me and I do at times too. Dan has pointed that out a couple of times. Good thing he isn’t the jealous type.
What is flirting? I asked several people this and I got several different definitions.
Here is the one I like best that sums it up super simply.
Flirting can be 2 different things
: to behave in a way that shows a sexual attraction for someone but is not meant to be taken seriously
: to behave in a way that shows a sexual attraction for someone but IS meant to be taken seriously
My friends and I used to discuss this all the time in college how you knew when someone was flirting or just being friendly. Some people are really touchy and it doesn’t mean anything to them to be close to you or to touch you. To us, we wouldn’t do that unless we were attracted to someone.
How do you know when someone is flirting? I think it is really in the eyes of the person doing the “flirting”. Only they truly know their intent.
Speaking from just my experience I tease and joke around with men a lot so that isn’t flirting from me. However, if I am going to flirt I notice my voice gets softer, usually teasing, followed by a slow smile. I kind of get sing songy too now that I am really thinking about this, which I hadn’t before now. Ok, for me, it’s all in my voice.
I also don’t touch people very often so if I touch you I am definitely flirting.
Of course, if I smack you in the arm or upside the head- not flirting! You’re just being a dope.
It’s all very complicated.
I was “talking” to a college friend today about this topic. He said in college he missed many signs of girls flirting with him. It all went over his head and he was clueless.
For my girlfriends and I in college we found men were touchy and we thought they were flirting with us. They weren’t necessarily, they just touched a lot without any meaning.
So, now that I have told you how confusing it is to know when people are flirting here are some signs to know when someone is:
I don’t believe it is just talking to someone in a normal tone and having a conversation though. There are signs.
I found this on Your Coffee Break web-site: http://www.yourcoffeebreak.co.uk/pillow-talk/everything-relationships/26338723773/sense-sensibility-is-he-flirting-or-just-being-friendly/
I love that is uses all 5 senses because that is how humans communicate. I also found most of these to be sensible signs but not end all be all signs.
1.) Sight– Watch the body language. Whether it is a slight smile or a steady eye contact, a person’s body language explains an incredible amount about their mood and character. Just learning how to pick up on certain cues enables you to read the other person like an open book. For example, his physical presence indicates his intentions. How far is he standing to you? Or is he leaning in? The closer you two are, the more intimate he’s trying make you feel. Does he cross his arms or break eye contact often to look elsewhere? This is a clear sign of lack of interest.
2.) Hearing – Does his voice raise in cheeriness when conversation is initiate? Does he ever compliment you out of the blue? Great! Now perk those ears up and listen up. Just because he says something nice doesn’t necessarily mean he’s into you. Check around for his behavior with other people. If he’s just as nice to you as he is with your nameless coworker, then chances are that is his normal behavior. However, if he’s the shy, introverted type and signals you out to say hello – then don’t brush it off because that could just be his most courageous attempt to flirt with you.
3.) Touch – The both of you are wildly laughing at this raunchy joke you just cracked, and then all of a sudden he throws his arm around and pats you on the back. Does he consider you a romantic love interest? Maybe. Does he feel comfortable around you? Definitely. This is a clear sign of friendship, but what if you’re looking for more? Be aware of his physical contact. While a pat on the back is for old buds, a gentle touch of his hand over yours suggests affection. Look out for that lingering hug or embrace. What the eyes can’t see, the heart just feels
4.) Taste– More often than not, females don’t pick up on the small things that a guy does because we’re more in tune to the bigger and flashier stunts a guy needs to pull off to win a girl’s heart. With that being said, these last two senses are dedicated to the small but sweet deeds can sometimes go unnoticed. Long ago when you two first met, you mentioned off-handedly your favorite type of food or drink to him. Whilst you forgot that conversation, here in the present he offers you your beloved brand of gum and brings you a cup of Starbucks without asking about your order. While it maybe a coincidence, it is just as likely he’s attempting to get on your good side.
5.) Smell– A spritz here and a spritz there. Your perfume is part of your morning routine. Therefore, it’s such a pleasant surprise whenever someone notices your scent. Your perfume is personal and any guy who compliments it means he’s willing to openly admit that he checked you out.
Question of the day: How do you know when someone is flirting? How do you flirt?