Breaking up is hard to do

Hey guy s: How is 2015 treating you so far? Can you believe we are a week in already?

When you think of breaking up usually you think of a couple, right? But that isn’t always so. Friends can have breaks ups too.

friends

My best friend from High School days broke up with me a few years back.

When I met her I truly felt like God knew I needed her and sent her to me. My Mom was an alcoholic and it was a shameful secret I carried around. I couldn’t tell anyone my Mom was a drinker.I met her by accident and we just became friends. I was over her house one day and she causally said her dad was an alcoholic.

God

I almost fell off the chair. I couldn’t believe she was admitting this and so uninhibited about it, For the first time ever I said the words out loud to someone ” My Mom is an alcoholic too”.

It was such a weight off my shoulders at 14, those hard, horrible years anyway, to have a friend that I could tell anything to and she got it and didn’t judge me.

We were friends, like sisters, all through High School, college years, wedding, life… Her family was like my family. I felt like her little sister was my little sister in some ways and her Mom and Dad were my second family.

sisters

But two years ago something happened. Life has been hard for both she and I these past few years, like it is for many.

Divorce, deaths, careers… life can be hard.

Almost two years have passed since I have spoken to her. I have NO idea why. We used to e-mail regularly because it was a quick and easy way to communicate and keep in the loop. She stopped emailing me and at the same time the shit hit the fan for us. I didn’t pay too much attention to the lack of communication until about 3 months had passed.

I have sent her a Birthday card and e-mailed her and I have gotten nothing back.

heart

 

Everyone asks me if I did anything to upset her. I have wracked my brains but we didn’t have words or an argument. She simply stopped all contact with me. If she thinks I know why, she is mistaken.

I have not reached out to her family because I don’t think it’s fair to involve them. I don’t know what they know and they shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable.

I have not called her because:

a I don’t think she’d answer

b. I don’t know what to say

c. I don’t know how I feel about this.

Maybe for some reason I had gotten toxic for her. I don’t know how but she may have had her reasons. Maybe I did say something that completely upset her and I didn’t realize. Maybe she just realized she didn’t like who I had become as an adult or that we had nothing in common anymore.

I respect her feelings, I really do. I wish she had spoken to me so I could fix it, apologize or at least understand but that isn’t what she chose.

I saw a picture of her on Facebook recently and she looked happy. I hope she is. I want that for her and if I didn’t make her happy then maybe this was what she needed. Who am I to judge?

It’s odd not to have her in my life anymore. Everyone asks me about her all the time and it’s weird to say ” I haven’t talked to her in two years”.

I have many pictures of us on vacation together. I found some recently and I smiled. I have no ill feelings toward her. I still refer to her as my best friend. She always will be to me.

bff

I have other friends that I hold, just as, if not more dear to me.

But remember I felt like she was a gift from God when I needed someone so desperately?

Maybe she fulfilled what He sent her for and he doesn’t think I need her anymore.

I hope that one day we will get back together. But if that isn’t mean to be, then I will cherish all that she did for me and will always remember her with love and happiness.

Question of the day: have you had a friend break up with you or you with them?

 

 

 

 

 

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This entry was posted in attitude, friends, happiness, women over 40 and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Breaking up is hard to do

  1. Pam says:

    Great blog post! I have had a friend ‘break up’ with me. It hurt! I just couldn’t understand what I did… Did I insult her in some way? Hurt her feelings? Not do something she asked me to do and not realize? It was the hardest thing to do to change my thinking to ‘maybe it’s not about me’ and just accept the fact we are no longer close. I miss her, especially the fun we had at work and horseback riding, but maybe the saying ‘someone comes into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime’ has some truth to it. I just thought that after 10+ years it was a lifetime friend… But oh well. No use looking at a closed door. I am going to take your lead and wish her well – and get out there and meet new people and spend some quality time with the wonderful friends I cherish now. 🙂

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