Hey, how is your Monday going?
The weekend was a much needed glorious weekend for weather here in New England. Saturday was just beautiful. Low 70’s and sunny.
Saturday morning I got up and worked out at Steve’s. He had mentioned to me last week in a text that I should only come to class if I want to be there. No moping or complaining about being tired.
What? I don’t mope…. What the hell is he talking about?
At first I was kind of annoyed by this statement. As I thought about this and was really, really honest with myself, I do complain.
Mornings are just not my time to work out. I don’t have the energy and for me, over stimulation in the morning makes me mental. I hate the TV or radio going in the morning and if it’s loud it makes me want to crawl out of my skin. Noise and commotion in the morning just stress me out. I can feel my blood pressure rise and I start to get annoyed.
In boot camp Steve has this buzzer go off every some odd seconds telling you when to stop and start your set. There is a bunch of people moving around and the stimulation of the music and buzzer can just make me cringe at times.
It is sometimes all I can do to get myself there some days. When I am warming up on the elliptical my greeting to him is usually something like “ I almost didn’t come today or I don’t want to be here.”
So when Steve told me not to complain although it kind of hurt my feelings, the truth hurts. He didn’t hurt my feelings, he only stated the truth.
After the sting wore off I went through a process that I always do when I get feedback that I don’t necessarily like. It’s one I have brought clients through and if you are truly open to looking at the truth it can be a great growth and learning tool for you.
1. Is what he said true? I don’t think I mope so I just let that one slide and didn’t think of it again. It is true that I do complain about being tired or not wanting to be there.
2. You have two choices now that you know what is true.
a. You can work on changing your behavior
b. You can just own the fact that you do this and you aren’t going to put the energy into changing it.
I decided that I didn’t like being a Debbie Downer. I don’t want Steve or anyone else in class to see me coming on Saturday and be a wet blanket for people. How many others want to be there but they don’t complain. I do notice that once I start other people do too though. Now, I am causing negative energy in more than just me.
I am not ok with that. This week I went into Steve’s with a different attitude. Instead of sulking ( oh god, do I mope?) the whole way dreading it, I put on some motivating music in the car and thought of the fun things in my day ahead. I did notice I didn’t feel as grouchy when I walked in. Now, I wasn’t leaping up and down for joy, but changing behaviors takes time and practice. I am not going to be perfect right away. I will work on it and I told Steve I was working on it so he can give me a reminder if needed. And it will be at times…
But, I could have decided that I am just not a morning person and this is how I am. I may not have wanted to put the energy into changing this behavior. There are certain behaviors that I know I do and that’s just who I am and I am not changing it. This wasn’t one of them.
The truth can hurt, but it’s ok, you can learn and grow from it if you decide to. It didn’t feel good to have him tell me I am a complainer and it’s a downer, but I have choices. Change it or accept it.
However, you have to acknowledge the truth before you can do either.