I have a love/hate relationship with my body.
I have worked really hard the past few months to lose some fat, gain some muscle and I did. I lost 7 pounds and gained 4 pounds of muscle. I still wasn’t happy with my results. I wanted to look more toned and less squishy…
Yesterday I had a bad eating day. Like really bad… I know better and for some reason I just blew all my hard work. I beat myself up for the whole next day.
But then I realized, I am trying to look like I am in my 20’s again.
The truth of the matter is, though, that I am in better shape at 47 than I was in my 20’s.
At 20 I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day and didn’t exercise a lick. I mean, not at all. I ate fast food at least once a week and didn’t even think about eating for my body’s sake.
Sure, I was thin, but my body wasn’t healthy.
At 47 (almost) I exercise 4 days a week on average. I take an aerobics class, spin class, weight train and yoga/Pilates. I walk the dog on the days I don’t work out and sometimes even of the days I do. My co-worker and I also try and walk at lunch if we can.
I no longer smoke and never, ever will again.
I try and do my best, for the most part, to eat for a healthy body. I slip sometimes, really badly when I do, but I try and just start again the next day.
I had a realization today that my body isn’t 20 anymore, it isn’t even 30. I am almost 50 years old. My stomach pouches a little more than I would like, my arms aren’t as toned as I want them and my ass isn’t as high or as firm as I’d like it to be.
But it’s healthy!! My almost 50 year old body (ok, I can stop saying that now) can out exercise my 20 year old body, by far. At 20 I couldn’t hike up a mountain without sitting down, spin for an hour or lift 45 pounds over my head.
Does it mean that I shouldn’t still try and shave off some flab and gain muscle? No, but I do need to keep in mind that my body is ten times healthier at a size 6 than it was at a size 0 in my 20’s.
A thin body does not necessarily mean a healthier body.
And let’s talk about being mentally healthier.. I am so much happier today than I was in my skinny 20’s. I have accomplished things I never thought I would and take more risks because I believe I can. I learned how to ski at 33 years old and although I am not great at it, I can get down the mountain in one piece. That feels so good!
And the reason I think I can do that later in life is because I truly believe my 20 year old skinny, unhealthy body didn’t have the strength to hold me up. My 47 year old, imperfect body can though.
So, I had a bad eating day yesterday. Yesterday is done and I need to move on today. Yes, I need to understand why I keep doing this or it will keep happening (That is another blog)
Even though my body is far from perfect, it is stronger now than ever and I need to keep on the path of keeping it healthy as long as I can.